More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory (the book!)
Can you love more than one person? Have multiple romantic partners, without cheating? Absolutely! Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Now there’s the new book More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory to help you find your own way.
This book was published with the support of a crowdfunding campaign in 2013. You can find a complete list of our backers here.
Buy the book:
More Than Two is distributed by IPG in the United States. Retailers and libraries may order through Ingram or Baker & Taylor, directly from IPG at (800) 888-4741, or from Thorntree Press (firstname.lastname@example.org). Thorntree Press also works directly with international retailers and groups.
More about More Than Two
More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory
ISBN: 978-0-9913997-0-3 (paperback) / 978-0-9913997-2-7 (Kindle/ePub)
Copyright © 2014
Publication date: September 2, 2014
From Ancient Greece through the many dynasties of China to current practices of non-monogamy, people have openly engaged in multiple intimate relationships. Not until the late 20th century, however, was a word coined that encapsulated the practice, as well as its philosophies, edicts and ethics: polyamory (poly = many + amore = love). For Franklin Veaux, who has been polyamorous for his entire sexual life, the emerging framework and subsequent vocabulary for his lifestyle was a light in the dark. Candidly sharing his experiences and thoughts online catapulted his website, among the first dedicated to the poly lifestyle, to one of the top-ranking on the subject.
In recent years, as more people have discovered polyamory as a legitimate and desirable option for how they conduct their relationships, Franklin and one of his partners, Eve Rickert, saw that there was a growing need for a comprehensive guide to the lifestyle. More Than Two is that guide. This wide-ranging resource explores the often-complex world of living polyamorously: the nuances (no, this isn’t swinging), the relationship options (do you suit a V, an N, an open network?), the myths (don’t count on wild orgies and endless sex—but don’t rule them out either!) and the expectations (communication, transparency and trust are paramount). More Than Two is entirely without judgment and peppered with a good dose of humor. In it the authors share not only their hard-won philosophies about polyamory, but also their hurts and embarrassments.
Living poly is not always an easy road, and they hope that by reading this book, you’ll avoid some of the mistakes they’ve made along the way. Challenging the notion of what society considers a healthy and successful relationship, they offer up personal stories from their own lives as well as of those in the wider poly world, emphasizing that this lifestyle choice isn’t for the noncommittal. Polyamory is all about the relationships and the individuals participating.
Charting a Relationship Bill of Rights, the authors underscore the importance of engaging in ethical polyamory and guide readers through the thorny issues of jealousy and insecurity with the aim of encouraging readers to work consistently and conscientiously on both their relationships and themselves. And no, they’re not trying to convert you: they know that polyamory isn’t for everyone. Franklin and Eve simply provide those who might be embarking on this lifestyle—or those who have always known they are poly—with a set of tools and many questions to help them make informed decisions and set them on a path to enjoying multiple happy, strong, enriching relationships.
More Than Two is the book the polyamory community has been waiting for. And who knows? It may just be the book you didn’t even know you were waiting for.
Kale, Relationship-Anarchy.com. “In a world where solid advice on ethical non-monogamous relationships is sparse, this book delivers in so many ways. It is comprehensive, clear, and full of practical information; my only wish is that it existed years ago… I cannot think of anyone who would not benefit from reading this book.”
Melissa K. Bergdall & Marie L.C. Blumer, Journal of Feminist Family Therapy: “The book may also be helpful to those couples identifying as monogamous who could beneﬁt from a re-discussion, or ﬁrst discussion, around the power dynamics and the rules that are embedded within their relationships.” (3/9/2015)
Ferret Steinmetz: “A damn fine book on effective practices for good polyamory.” (11/19/2014)
Tikva Wolf, Kimchi Cuddles: “More Than Two is such a useful book. They touch on so many aspects of polyamory.” (11/23/14)
Dana Sayre: “Even those who choose to be monogamous (or single) could learn much from the communication and boundary-setting tools outlined in More Than Two.” (9/17/2014)
Isaac Cross, XCBDSM: “This book taught me things. This book changed the way that I think about relationships. All relationships, not just poly. I have spent the last two days lost in thought, re-evaluating a lot of my own choices and beliefs. And that’s good. That’s what a great book like this should do.” (8/25/2014)
Aggie Sez, Solopoly: “If you’ve never read any books on polyamory, this one should be your first. And even if you’ve read every book on polyamory, read this one now.” (8/11/2014)
Niko Bell, Xtra! Vancouver: “Agreements need to be more than just freely chosen, Veaux and Rickert argue. They need to be ethical.” (7/23/2014)
Wes Fenza, Living Within Reason: “This book is fantastic, and has the potential to be revolutionary. I have been waiting for a book that I could confidently tell people contains the collective wisdom of the poly community. This is that book.” (7/6/2014)
Ginny, Polyskeptic: “I strongly recommend the book to anybody practicing or considering polyamory — and I think the first several chapters are great for relationships of any kind. (7/3/2014)
Amy, Red Thread Farm: “I think this is a great resource for people who are new to poly, or frustrated with their poly relationships. It has some grounded suggestions for why some relationship strategies work and others don’t. It answers the most common questions that poly folk have about how to manage their relationships.” (7/2/2014)
David S. Hall, Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality: “It is a pleasure to read and is full of ideas helpful to anyone in, or considering, multiple consensual open loving relationships.” (6/11/2014)
Polyamory in the News: “This book is going to be an Event. It will immediately rank right at the top of the 36 nonfiction books about polyamory published in the last 30 years, and with its depth, insight and seriousity I think it could break out into wider mainstream attention.”