Learning that it’s Not About Me

It is a fact often unacknowledged that we are all born, and in many ways predisposed to remain, egocentric little monsters. That’s not a criticism, mind; just a statement. If you want to see unadulterated egocentrism in its purest form, before the crucible of...

Some thoughts on love and sacrifice

Note: This entry is crossposted from Franklin’s personal blog. I recently encountered, during the normal course of my regular trawling across the width of this thing we call the Internet, an essay posted on the Psychology Today Web site. The article is a...

Why ethics?

“Everyone believes in the atrocities of the enemy and disbelieves in those of his own side, without ever bothering to examine the evidence.” — George Orwell A couple of folks have asked me why we’re placing such a heavy emphasis on ethics in our new book,...

Aligning Your Compass

A few days ago, someone asked an interesting question about the way polyamory is perceived by the larger monogamous world around us. Why is it, this person wondered, that people outside the poly community so often react with fear to the idea of loving more than one...

On selfishness

“You’re selfish.” I’ve heard that charge from people on the Internet, usually folks who read one of my blog posts and say, “You have five girlfriends? That’s so selfish! You’re hogging all the women for yourself.” “You’re selfish.” Lately, I’ve been hearing it from an...