Polyamory writer and activist Louisa Leontiades has published a piece on the Huffington Post called The Hell of Monogamy. In it, she describes her own experiences trying to force herself to fit a model of relationship that wasn’t a good match for her.
This essay got me thinking about my own past, and how it is I have never faced trying to squeeze into a monogamous relationship.
It’s something I hear every day: “Relationships take work.” “Being in one relationship is hard work; being in more than one relationship is even more work.” “Polyamory takes work.”
I have been thinking a fair bit about relationship work these days, particularly since the stress of doing this crowdfunding campaign and working on the book has been taking me away from several of my partners, who would like more time with me. (Who knew that trying to change the world would take this much time?)
A conversation recently came up amongst a group of poly folks I know: what happens when a couple starts traveling down the road to polyamory, and then problems come up?
At first, I didn’t really understand the question. After all, what do we do when problems come up in any aspect of our lives? We deal with them. We attempt to solve them, the best way we know how. And, somehow, we muddle through. After all, that’s life, right?