Say you have a fetish, something that really does it for you. For example, say you quite like sniffing panties or something. Whatever. And say you have a new lover. What are the odds you can tell your new lover about this thing of yours, whatever it might be, without Read more
Image: yupiramos “Polyamory is abundant love! The first rule of polyamory is communicate, communicate, communicate!” Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard one of those things. Raise both hands if you’ve heard them both. Today I’m going to throw cold water on your hopes and dreams, commit an act of Read more
This morning, as I started my day with a cup of tea and a scroll through Facebook to see what condition the world’s condition was in, I encountered this fresh new cuppa what-the-fuck in a Wall Street Journal ad: The first thing I thought when I saw this was “holy Read more
This blog post is part of a series on the new, vastly expanded More Than Two site. This essay spotlights the Veto as a Form of Abuse page. Look for more spotlights in the coming days and weeks! Social isolation is a tool of abuse. If you read any books or articles Read more
This blog post is part of a series on the new, vastly expanded More Than Two site. This essay spotlights the Poly Breakups page. Look for more spotlights in the coming days and weeks! Image: serezniy Every now and then, when I talk to people who aren’t polyamorous by nature, someone will Read more
This blog post is part of a series on the new, vastly expanded More Than Two site. This essay spotlights the Can Women be Abusers? page. Look for more spotlights in the coming days and weeks! “Reality is so flexible these days, it’s hard to tell who’s disconnectedfrom it and who isn’t. Read more
This blog post is part of a series on the new, vastly expanded More Than Two site. This essay spotlights the Polyamory and Fairness page. Look for more spotlights in the coming days and weeks! Image: karpik-hoi “It’s not fair!” We all have an inner five-year-old that stamps its feet when we Read more
This blog post is part of a series on the new, vastly expanded More Than Two site. This essay spotlights the Relationship Bill of Rights page. Look for more spotlights in the coming days and weeks! Way way back in the early 2000s, I published a “Secondary’s Bill of Rights” on Read more
There was a time—a time not too long ago, in fact—I believed that polyamorous relationships were less prone to abuse than monogamous relationships. I think I can be forgiven a certain degree of nativity here. When you read books or papers about abuse, or you talk to abuse survivors, or Read more
Trigger warning: Stalking, graphic death and rape threats, doxxing, threats of swatting, impersonation I’ve been putting off writing this for a while now, because it involves dredging deep into some incredibly ugly stuff. Most of you know that I’ve been stalked for years by a stalker (or stalkers) who has Read more