That feeling when a book you’ve written ends up being featured on a TV show about a serial killer… So yeah, that’s a thing that happened. I’ll be honest. I’ve never watched the Netflix serial killer series You. I’ve never even heard of the Netflix serial killer series You until Read more…
Many years ago, my game-changing partner (whom I call Amber in The Game Changer) talked to a therapist about why she felt lonely and isolated. Her therapist told her there was nothing wrong with her: she felt alienated from others because she was a giraffe surrounded by alligators.
No matter how well-intentioned alligators are, they can not understand or relate to giraffes. Giraffes and alligators have very different needs and live very different lives. An alligator might sincerely reach out to a giraffe—by offering it a bit of meat torn from the carcass of some unlucky water buffalo, say—but that isn’t likely to help the giraffe much.
Amber was my giraffe. She was the first person I knew who really got me in a way my other partners never had. It turns out, I have a bit of giraffe in me, too.
These are two logos we’ve considered for the book cover for More Than Two.
When I first started thinking about writing a book about polyamory, I wanted a book cover that expressed the way I feel about relationships: the importance of deliberate, conscious choice; the value of careful planning. The design I came up with, the one on the left, used the metaphor of a construction blueprint.
I started exploring polyamory back before the word “polyamory” started circulating. I’ve never been monogamous, and I’ve never had a monogamous relationship. When I started exploring romantic relationships myself, it was hard to find other people who felt the same way I did about love and romance. It was hard even to find the language to describe the things I wanted. “Open relationship” was about the closest I could come, but it didn’t really do much to talk about how I wanted my life to look.