This blog post comes to you from Seattle, Washington, where we’re getting ready to do one last podcast before the More Than Two book tour wraps up for good. Looking back over the last seven weeks on the road, it feels like we set off a million years ago to tour the country in a camper van talking about polyamory. And yet, at the same time, I almost don’t want it to end.
Looking back now, the tour feels a little surreal, like we were playing the world’s most immersive video game. And in true video game style, we unlocked quite a number of achievements on the way.
It’s An Adventure! Spend a week on the road (5 points)
Are We There Yet? Spend 2 weeks on the road (10 points)
This Is Our Life Now Spend 5 weeks on the road (15 points)
Turn the Page Spend 10 weeks on the road (0 points)
SRO Present at an event that’s standing room only (10 points)
Full House Present in front of 50 people (10 points)
Pack Them In Present in front of 100 people (0 points)
Carnegie Hall Present in front of 1,000 people (0 points)
Washout Present at an event with fewer than 2 people (10 points)
Reaching Out Speak in person to 100 people total (5 points)
Activist Speak in person to 500 people total (10 points)
Let’s Start a Revolution Speak in person to 1,000 people total (0 points)
On The Air Do a radio interview (5 points)
RKO Studio Do 2 radio interviews (10 points)
Jammin’ the Airwaves Do 5 radio interviews (0 points)
Quiet on the Set Do a television interview (0 points)
The Public Eye Do 2 television interviews (0 points)
You’ve Arrived Do 5 television interviews (0 points)
I’ll Call My Agent Do an interview with a famous talk show host (0 points)
Stream It Do a podcast (5 points)
We’re Big on iTunes Do 2 podcasts (5 points)
We Need More Disk Space Do 5 podcasts (0 points)
Keep It In the Family Have a family member attend an event (5 points)
No Secrets Share an embarrassing anecdote in front of a family member at an event (10 points)
You’re Kinda Cute Get a crush (10 points)
I Like You…and You…and You Get 5 crushes (0 points)
We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Van Start dating a new partner (0 points)
Steep Grade Change altitude by more than 5,000 feet in a single day (5 points)
Climb Mount Fuji Change altitude by more than 10,000 feet in a single day (0 points)
Fish Out of Water Get altitude sickness (10 points)
Got the Ick Catch a cold (0 points)
Arachnophobia Get Lyme disease (0 points)
Blowout Get a flat tire (10 points)
Call AAA! Have a major mechanical breakdown (20 points)
No Parking Get a parking ticket (10 points)
You Can’t Leave That Here Get 2 parking tickets in a single day (20 points)
Give Up, Go Home Get 5 parking tickets in a single day (0 points)
Officer Friendly Get a traffic ticket (0 points)
Oh Deer Have a close call with a deer on the road (10 points)
Just Bear-ly Have a close call with a bear on the road (10 points)
Can You Hear Me Now? Visit the Very Large Array (10 points)
Contact Climb a radio antenna at the Very Large Array (20 points)
Big Ditch Visit the Grand Canyon (10 points)
Just Don’t Look Down Ride a bike along the rim of the Grand Canyon (15 points)
Hit Rock Bottom Hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon (0 points)
Rock of Ages Touch a rock that’s 1.8 billion years old (10 points)
Delta V Visit Meteor Crater (10 points)
Basilisk Visit the Petrified Forest (0 points)
Atomic Fireball Visit the Trinity site (0 points)
Wile E. Coyote Visit Moab (0 points)
Damn Big Dam Visit the Hoover Dam (10 points)
DEFCON 5 Get stopped and searched by security at a national monument (20 points)
Self-Care Visit a yoga studio on the road (5 points)
Namaste, Baby Visit 5 yoga studios on the road (15 points)
Great Balls o’ Fire Spin fire (0 points)
Can Has Cheezburger? Make friends with a cat (5 points)
Moar Cheezburger! Make friends with 5 cats (5 points)
Tuna Cheezburger? Make friends with 10 cats (5 points)
Purr-fect friends Make friends with 15 cats (5 points)
Cat-astrophe Make friends with 20 cats (0 points)
Can I Keep Him? Attempt to rescue a cat (5 points)
He Followed Me Home Successfully rescue a cat (0 points)
Venus on the Half-Shell Eat sushi off a naked person (10 points)
Devilish Snog in a Kink.com dungeon (10 points)
Demonic Have sex in a Kink.com dungeon (0 points)
Wardrobe! Borrow clothing from the Kink.com costuming department for a party (15 points)
Let It Ride Gamble in Vegas (0 points)
Sin City Have sex in Vegas (5 points)
It’s a Family Town See a show in Vegas (5 points)
The House that Larry Built Speak at Google (10 points)
Help, I’m Sinking! Play in a ball pit at Google (10 points)
Don’t Photograph the Animals Speak at Facebook (10 points)
Hipsters Like Me Speak at Apple (0 points)
Does It Play on Zune? Speak at Microsoft (0 points)
You Want Me to What? Poop in a hole (10 points)
How Does This Work? Use a composting toilet (10 points)
I See the Milky Way! Sleep under the stars (10 points)
It’s So Big! Sleep under the stars in the desert (0 points)
It’s a Business Doing Pleasure With You Visit a sex toy factory (10 points)
No Really, It’s My Pleasure Have an orgasm at a sex toy factory (0 points)
Mr. Smith Would Not Approve Commit adultery in Utah (10 points)
When in Rome… Visit the LDS Temple (10 points)
…Do as the Greeks Do Visit the LDS Temple wearing animal ears (10 points)
You’re Doing What with a What, Where? Exploit a shark in front of the LDS Temple (15 points)
Excuse Me, Sir Be asked to leave the LDS Temple (0 points)
Academic Hang out with a working scientist (5 points)
Brainiac Hang out with 2 working scientists (10 points)
Let’s Start a University Hang out with 5 working scientists (0 points)
Gag Order Be deemed “too controversial” to speak at a venue (15 points)
Torches and Pitchforks Get picketed at an event (0 points)
This Will Make a Great Test Case Get arrested at an event (0 points)
I Know It When I See It Get arrested for obscenity at an event (0 points)
The Long Now Forget what day it is (10 points)
Time Is Relative Forget what day it is 2 days in a row (10 points)
Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Forget what day it is 5 days in a row (0 points)
Sorry, Gotta Run! Leave an event and immediately drive to the next venue (10 points)
Lather, Rinse, Repeat Drive until you can’t drive any more, sleep, wake up, drive again (10 points)
Long Tail Sell 500 books (5 points)
Indie Author Sell 1,000 books (10 points)
Okay, You’re a Real Writer Sell 3,000 books (15 points)
Look Out, George RR Martin Sell 5,000 books (0 points)
Reader’s Choice Be named as a recommended reading selection at a public library (15 points)
Authority Become the top-selling book in an Amazon category (10 points)
Interdisciplinary Become the top-selling book in 2 Amazon categories (0 points)
Wish List Make it to the top 100 on Amazon (0 points)
Bestseller Make it to the NYT Best Seller List (0 points)
Hated It Get a 1-star Amazon review (5 points)
1 Comment
Jessie · October 30, 2014 at 1:16 am
Okay, you have way more achievements in this game (in part because I haven’t been on a book tour…yet!), but I do feel the need to brag about having acquired the It’s My Pleasure achievement!