{"id":3539,"date":"2025-03-06T17:54:36","date_gmt":"2025-03-07T01:54:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/?p=3539"},"modified":"2025-03-06T17:54:39","modified_gmt":"2025-03-07T01:54:39","slug":"today-in-horrifying-relationship-ideas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/2025\/03\/today-in-horrifying-relationship-ideas","title":{"rendered":"Today in Horrifying Relationship Ideas\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>This morning, as I started my day with a cup of tea and a scroll through Facebook to see what condition the world&#8217;s condition was in, I encountered this fresh new cuppa what-the-fuck in a Wall Street Journal ad:<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/location-sharing-relationship.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"566\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/location-sharing-relationship-566x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3540\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/location-sharing-relationship-566x1024.jpg 566w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/location-sharing-relationship-166x300.jpg 166w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/location-sharing-relationship-768x1389.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/location-sharing-relationship-849x1536.jpg 849w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/location-sharing-relationship-1132x2048.jpg 1132w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/location-sharing-relationship.jpg 1206w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 566px) 100vw, 566px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>The first thing I thought when I saw this was \u201choly fuck.\u201d The second thing I thought when I saw this was \u201care the monogamists okay?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s not really fair, of course. Plenty of polyamorous people are in toxic, abusive relationships. And make no mistake about it, <a href=\"https:\/\/delcopa.gov\/health\/pages\/domesticabuse\/types.html\">demanding to know your partner\u2019s whereabouts at all time is 100% abuse<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/abuse-demanding-to-know.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"794\" src=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/abuse-demanding-to-know-1024x794.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3542\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/abuse-demanding-to-know-1024x794.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/abuse-demanding-to-know-300x233.png 300w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/abuse-demanding-to-know-768x595.png 768w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/abuse-demanding-to-know.png 1424w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve been thinking about this all day, and it\u2019s got me to wondering something: Are the rise of populist autocratic demagoguery and the social tropism toward toxic relationship standards related? I think they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>When we think of totalitarian dictatorships, we tend to imagine Soviet Brutalist architectures: row after row of slablike concrete State apartment buildings, as festive and joyous as wasp\u2019s nests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But in fact, if you look at places like North Korea, you see a fairyland of bright, pastel colors.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/moshe-shai-north-korea.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"533\" src=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/moshe-shai-north-korea.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3543\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/moshe-shai-north-korea.jpg 800w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/moshe-shai-north-korea-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/moshe-shai-north-korea-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/moshe-shai-north-korea-360x240.jpg 360w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p><em>Image: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.israelhayom.co.il\/article\/484071\">Moshe Shai<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This theme repeats itself in North Korean schools and public places: bright cartoony pastels, brilliant clothing, bold colors, flamboyant shapes. It\u2019s part of a carefully calculated effort to infantilize everyone who grows up there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/north-korea-oliver-wainwright.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"614\" src=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/north-korea-oliver-wainwright-1024x614.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3544\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/north-korea-oliver-wainwright-1024x614.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/north-korea-oliver-wainwright-300x180.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/north-korea-oliver-wainwright-768x461.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/03\/north-korea-oliver-wainwright.jpg 1400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Image: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/artanddesign\/2018\/jun\/10\/inside-north-korea-oliver-wainwright-pastel-fairyland-built-to-forget\">Oliver Wainwright<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Infantilization creates a sense of helplessness, which leads to a desire for someone to look after you. Dictatorships benefit from social Infantilization, something that North Korea\u2019s Kim dynasty has learned well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What does that have to do with people wanting to track their lover\u2019s whereabouts at all times?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I can\u2019t help seeing a connection between controlling, authoritarian government and controlling, authoritarian relationships. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s an accident that the counterculture movement of the 60s encouraged both free love and anti-authoritarianism, and I don&#8217;\u2019t think it\u2019s an accident that as the United States slips ever faster into the weird authoritarian of King Trump\u2019s second term, ruled by a guy who <em>literally promised to be a dictator on Day One<\/em>, and dysfunctional Orwellian relationship dynamics being normalized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No, obviously I don\u2019t mean to imply that all monogamous relationships look like this, obviously. But when there\u2019s a relationship trend with enough groundswell to get noticed by the Wall Street Journal, <em>something<\/em> is happening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Enshrining relationship dynamics that match the literal definition of intimate partner abuse in the foundation of one\u2019s relationship is&#8230;well, it\u2019s weird, and concerning, and there\u2019s something deeply fucked up happening there. I see this and Trumpism as two manifestations of the same thing: intentional ceding of autonomy, maybe coming from some desire for order and structure even at the cost of basic agency. I may be living under the eternal gaze of a partner who uses literal surveillance on me 24\/7, but at least I don&#8217;t need to be frightened of being cheated on! (Never mind, of course, that you can always leave your cell phone with a friend whilst you nip out the back for nookie. That\u2019s the thing about this sort of devil\u2019s bargain: you only ever get the <em>appearance<\/em> of safety, never safety itself.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I see dark times ahead, and hold little hope for a correction within the next generation or two.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This morning, as I started my day with a cup of tea and a scroll through Facebook to see what condition the world&#8217;s condition was in, I encountered this fresh new cuppa what-the-fuck in a Wall Street Journal ad: The first thing I thought when I saw this was \u201choly [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ethics-2"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - 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