{"id":3195,"date":"2021-10-25T12:48:43","date_gmt":"2021-10-25T19:48:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/?p=3195"},"modified":"2023-09-01T16:48:36","modified_gmt":"2023-09-01T23:48:36","slug":"you-me-and-more-than-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.morethantwo.com\/blog\/2021\/10\/you-me-and-more-than-two","title":{"rendered":"You, me, and More Than Two"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

That feeling when a book you\u2019ve written ends up being featured on a TV show about a serial killer\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

So yeah, that\u2019s a thing that happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll be honest. I\u2019ve never watched the Netflix serial killer series You<\/em>. I\u2019ve never even heard of<\/em> the Netflix serial killer series You<\/em> until my wife told me, \u201cHey Franklin, did you know your book was on this show?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yeah, that\u2019s a weird thing to hear first thing in the morning when you haven\u2019t even had your tea yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t normally follow shows about serial killers. I never watched Dexter. (Well, I think I watched about a third of one episode once; I dimly recall a scene where a character is passing out donuts from a box, and when all the donuts are gone, he says something like \u201cthe box is empty, just like me.\u201d I\u2019ve now told you everything I know about the show.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I watched this episode, aaaaaaand\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was an interesting experience, by which I mean it was a spectacular, and horrifying, trainwreck in ways I totally didn\u2019t expect (though it was fascinating for one character to read something I wrote and another character to say \u201cwell, that\u2019s not crazy.\u201d Though given the context, I\u2019m not sure what that\u2019s worth.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fact a TV show about a serial killer who stalks and kills women is popular enough to get three seasons and counting whilst Firefly<\/em> was cancelled after only one season is proof positive, as if we needed any more, that something is deeply rotten in the state of contemporary society.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I digress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The representation of polyamory (and swinging and such, which the show\u2019s characters conflate, cue laugh track) was the first thing I can honestly say I\u2019ve ever seen Hollywood be even less accurate at  than the way it portrays hackers. There were some real gems here, and I mean that in the worst possible way. \u201cPolyamory, aka, swinging, aka, the lifestyle, aka a flatlining marriage’s dying gasp\u201d makes about as much sense as \u201cI have to route the virus through a polymorphic packet filter to get it through the firewall,\u201d for many of the same reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was also the female serial killer saying \u201cit wasn\u2019t safe for me to be angry\u201d about her previous relationship, with, apparently, a guy she killed\u2026 There is, it seems, a trope where people say a partner was terrible because \u201cI wasn\u2019t allowed to be angry\u201d when in fact the thing they aren\u2019t allowed to do (in the sense that it tends to lead to consequences they don\u2019t like, anyway) is, you know, express that anger through violence. Where does that even come from? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But again, I digress. Moving on:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The show\u2019s ideas of non-monogamy were…um, I\u2019m struggling to find the words, but \u201crelentlessly peculiar\u201d springs to mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like the bit about the swinging contract.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been to swing clubs, I\u2019ve had group sex more times I can count, and I can\u2019t say anyone\u2019s ever slapped an NDA on the table before the shenanigans start. I\u2019d like to say \u201cmaybe this is a New York thing,\u201d but nah. It really isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAny STIs?\u201d \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Okay, Hollywood shows normally take place in a strange parallel land where sexual health isn\u2019t a thing at all, so +1 for mentioning it, and -100 for this being the entire conversation. Like, seriously, in my experience at least, people in non-monogamous relationships spend a lot less time typing up non-disclosure agreements and a lot more time on the whole STI\/sexual health thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Yeah, in some circles, I guess this is true. I wish it weren\u2019t, but yeah, fair cop. On the other hand:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t even know what this means.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dirty little secret of the swing scene: male-male sex is very often treated like that person who ate a whole can of beans and chased it down with onions and Camembert before stepping onto a crowded elevator.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lot of ethically non-monogamous people like to think they\u2019re on a higher ethical plane than the mere unwashed rabble, well above the common petty prejudices of the less enlightened bits of the society. Some of them believe the marketing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t let them fool you, they\u2019re just people, with the same old prejudices and bigotry as any other group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Okay, so I do have to give the show\u2019s victims of the day credit for nope-ing out at this point, though why they came back, I can\u2019t fully grasp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Props for getting the word out there, -10 for the context?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now this is the point where the episode takes a serious<\/em> left turn into weirdness. I mean, it was a fustercluck up until now, but it was a fustercluck in ways I expected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bits I didn\u2019t expect:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

What.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Actual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuck.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look, I\u2019m not dissing recreational drug use. If that\u2019s your jam, fill your boots. Full disclosure: I think drug prohibition is ridiculous and harmful, and I think it should end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I\u2019ve never been in a group sex situation with people who pack an expanding drug kit for the occasion. It all seems a bit excessive, you know? Kudos for the level of preparation, admittedly, I doubt I\u2019ve ever managed that except with packing sex toys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, I had this creeping feeling watching this scene that, by show\u2019s end, the character who brought the drugs would end up dead, and part of what would make that palatable to the audience is the popular stigma against drug users. I mean, I could be wrong, but that seems so very Hollywood, dunnit?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No spoilers, but yeah, it goes about where you\u2019d expect at this point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Speaking of polyamory and the media, though, apparently Newsweek noticed the book in the show, and ran an article about it<\/a>, so yeah, that happened, too. Not only does a program about a serial killer who stalks and kills women get (at least) three seasons, but Newsweek<\/em> has an entire column dedicated to a postmodernist deconstruction of every book the main serial killer reads on camera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t understand some people\u2019s tastes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wikipedia says “The author of the novel, Caroline Kepnes, explained the darkness of You<\/em>, which deconstructs the romantic-comedy tropes highlighted in many films and shows, by making the protagonist, a violent stalker and serial killer,\u201d so I guess I can get behind that, but I\u2019d still rather watch two more seasons of Firefly<\/em> myself. And I\u2019m told a lot of viewers romanticize the main character, which…well, I don\u2019t even know what to make of that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, I have a lot of complicated feels around this. A lot of complicated feels about More Than Two <\/em>generally, in fact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the one hand, I believed then and believe now that it\u2019s a good book. It\u2019s the book I\u2019m second most proud of having co-written (the book I\u2019m most proud of co-writing won\u2019t be released until late 2022, and it\u2019s an entirely different kind of book, not about polyamory at all; watch this space!).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I am gratified the show didn\u2019t have the main character actually weaponize More Than Two<\/em> to manipulate other characters. (That\u2019s a thing I\u2019ve seen people do in the real world. Please don\u2019t do that. If you find yourself picking out quotes you can use to justify a desire to hurt or control your partner, you need to rethink your approach to self-help books.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the other hand, it\u2019s a little weird…no. It\u2019s a lot weird to see something you brought into the world, rooted in decades of work, in this context. \u00a0Seeing it through the eyes of people who don\u2019t really know anything about that history is…strange. It\u2019s an intimacy unlike anything else you can imagine. Yeah, once you release something into the world, you can\u2019t control where it goes. Death of the Author and all. But still. It\u2019s my child, my labor of love, you know, and it has been for a long, long time. I get that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At least my most recent books<\/a> are unlikely to end up on a TV show about serial killers, for, err, whatever that\u2019s worth. Though of course, I\u2019d have said that about More Than Two<\/em> before this, so I\u2019m making no bets for the future.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

That feeling when a book you\u2019ve written ends up being featured on a TV show about a serial killer\u2026 So yeah, that\u2019s a thing that happened. I\u2019ll be honest. I\u2019ve never watched the Netflix serial killer series You. I\u2019ve never even heard of the Netflix serial killer series You until […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[126,129,127,131,128,130],"class_list":["post-3195","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-book","tag-media","tag-netflix","tag-serial-killers","tag-stalking","tag-swinging","tag-you"],"yoast_head":"\nYou, me, and More Than Two - More Than Two\u2122<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Netflix show You featured a pair of serial killers reading my book, and man, I have complicated feels. 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