I’ve been living poly since 2008, though my poly roots go back much deeper. What I now call my first poly experience happened when I was 16; at the time, none of us had a framework that would have allowed us to consider a loving, open, non-monogamous outcome, and the whole thing ended in a fireball of tears and teenage angst. Since then, I’ve had about 15 years of monogamous relationships, a 13-year (so far) marriage that has been poly for about half its duration (the latter half), and a number of other poly relationships.
My approach to poly has changed radically over the years: from that early experience at 16, to first hearing the word “polyamory” in 1998, to my husband’s and my first swingers’ party in 2006, to our current multiple long-term, committed relationships. And being poly has radically changed me. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and learned a lot of hard lessons. I’m writing this book to share those experiences with anyone who is struggling to maintain ethical multiple relationships with integrity, compassion and courage, in the hopes they may help you on your way.
I’m a thirty-something professional writer, editor and mastermind. I own a science communications firm in Vancouver, Canada, called Talk Science to Me. I’ve edited dozens of books, but this is my first experience writing one. I have until recently co-organized a group for poly women in Vancouver, and I blog, though (mostly) privately.